What I took for granted

I have felt poorly for well over a month. A niggling sore throat and some pain in my ear, reminiscent of the joyful infection I got for Christmas. Run down. Grotty. Naturally with a long weekend off work, it got worse.

The out of hours doctor was as useful as a chocolate fire guard; viral infection, get some rest. Super. A teacher in exam season has no time to rest. A mother never has time to rest. I had no time to rest. Needless to say, when I woke on Tuesday morning ready for work, I felt like death. Like the heroine that I am (chortle) I soldiered into work, that coursework won't send itself. That sapped all I had, I came home in bright sunshine shivering, went to bed early and woke in a sweat at 11pm. More painkillers got me through to Wednesday morning but nothing had shifted. Reluctantly, having noticed that there were no exam classes on my timetable, I called in sick.

I cannot abide taking days off. Setting work from home is a nightmare and finding activities that are worthwhile and beneficial is hard when you're feeling fuzzy headed. My classroom is always a tip when I return. I can't bring myself to switch off my emails and inevitably still do some work. I feel massively guilty. Massively. Made worse, as I've had time off already for me, and for a poorly E this year. 

I got up, set work, waved E off to nursery and then slept on the sofa all morning. I ate crumpets and slept some more. D collected E so I could stay in my pjs. I got an early night. I felt a bit queasy from the painkillers and limited food intake, but I felt clearer as I went up to bed.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling like a new woman. For the first time in weeks, my eyelids didn't feel like they had been closed with heavy duty magnets. Getting out of bed was easy. My throat was still sore but paracetamol alone solved it. I was able to enjoy half an hour with E and read with her before leaving. I was still awake at 11pm last night!

Before I had children, I don't think I'd ever have given a rest day this much credit. I don't think I'd have felt that a day of recharging could be enough. I took lazy days and weekends for granted, I was spoiled. Wednesday was a luxury, really, in a way. I realise that my stay at home pals will grumble that they never get these days, I guess that this, for me, is the silver lining of being a working mum. I can have a silent sick day, at home alone. For a fee. It felt weird, being home alone. But I was struggling with this poorliness. Now I am back all over it.

So today, I am mostly taking nothing for granted. It's my favourite day of the week, which means it's nearly time for my favourite lunch date. And this week I can enjoy her without quietly wishing I could climb into her cot with her for a nap. I will relish every second.

How lucky am I? I don't think I need to answer that.