Comparisons

As a parent, I think it's only natural to compare your kid to another. Some people are just more vocal about comparing than others. Comparison is good, but it can also be hideous ("Oh MY child can already recite the alphabet backwards AND say hello in three different languages!"), and I'm sure I'm guilty of sounding like a big boasty pants about E occasionally, unintentionally. With maybe just a smidge of gushy pride. I remember taking E to baby massage when she was about two and half months old and feeling panicked when some of the other babies could lift their head 90 degrees when lying on their tummies and she couldn't. Needless to say within a couple of days of me relaying the story to D, reading about ways to encourage productive tummy time, Googling to see when she should have been able to do it, she did it. Genuine first time mum issue.

You'll know that I made some of my closest mummy friends on my Birth Board (you know, the ones who weren't complete loons? Check here...) and I am also lucky to have a wonderfully supportive group of girls who I met at my NCT antenatal course. But I have one mummy friend, who I don't get to see all that often, but her and her little boy are a little bit extra special, as both our babies were due on the same day.

We knew each other, somewhat tenuously, quite a while before babies were on the scene and our paths crossed though various mutual friends. I still remember the evening she popped up on Facebook to congratulate me, having heard from another friend that I was expecting and the sheer excitement when she told me her news and that there was someone who was at exactly the same point along the way as me.  Not just some other time in March (ie the other end) or maybe even late February. Exactly the same point, on  exactly the same countdown, worrying about the same stuff at the same time. It was interesting to see how our pregnancies differed and to have a sympathetic ear on the bad days. It was fun trying to guess what colour these babies were going to be, and then, once we knew, which baby would have better time keeping skills. Mine caused some havoc so was served a slightly earlier eviction notice (40+4 arriving at 40+5) and hers was probably pushing fashionably late at 40+16 but they both arrived by emergency caesarian after less than ideal labours.

But in theory these two tall, hairy toddlers have existed for exactly the same amount of time. Circa early July 2011.

So having compared them in utero, it was a natural continuation (for me, at least) that we compare them now. They have a lot in common. They're tall for their age, they have a lot of hair, they're passionate, fiery aries (we witnessed a great fight over two plastic bowls today. It was all about ownership of the yellow one. No, the pink one. No. The YELLOW ONE.) They both adore books and animals. Particularly ducks. But it's so lovely seeing how different they are. The different things they like to do. What tickles them. The things that we find infuriating sometimes. And it's even better watching them start to interact with each other.

People will always tell you "every baby is different". I know this. Sometimes they say it like it's a bad thing that we compare. Mine has been reasonably text book, but that's still so very different from the next textbook baby. I don't care how different they are, I do love comparing. I love how these two little ones, who started their journey on (probably) the same day and grew the same way on their race to meet the world are turning into little people, like us grown ups only a lot smaller with less ability to verbalise that they're cross about the fact that he is drinking from a more superior, identical water cup, and I really hope that they get to grow up together. I love that he is braver than her. I love that she doesn't care for the lid of the yogurt like he does. I love that they both think that the gravel is super tasty. 

They'd make us some lush grandchildren one day. 

... Just saying.