Saturday, 15 June 2013

Father's Day Guest Post

I write about serious stuff. Soppy stuff. Sentimental stuff. I enjoy reading this stuff too. But I also love reading the more light hearted stuff that my fellow bloggers write, especially when it comes to parenting. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across Dad Man Talking's blog and literally wept with laughter. I regularly check in on his posts now and they never fail to entertain. 

I'm absolutely chuffed to be able to host him over here today with a Father's day special, which had me chuckling over my coffee this morning...


I have been kindly asked to do a guest blog for the lovely Thursday's Child on Father's Day. I figured that most of her readers will be mums, so I thought it was only right that I should give you all a few essential hints about what Dads actually want on this special day. 

Firstly - and this is very important - we do not want breakfast in bed made by small inept chefs. The perfect start to the day is not coffee made with cold water and four heaped spoonfuls of Gold Blend rounded off with a foosty bap from the back of the breadbin smeared with something that might or might not be marmite. When we smile and say "This is the best breakfast I've ever had," I'll give you a hint. We are lying.

Honestly, a nice slice of toast will do. 

Next, Father's Day gifts. No matter what they have told you, we do not want compilation CDs with stupid dad names like "Daddy Cool" or "Dad Gets his Funk On" or "Music For Dads to Listen to on the Car Stereo as They Sob Gently in the Pub Car Park Thinking of their Lost Youth". 

I'm being serious. We don't want that. We know what music we like. We've spent decades building up out CD collections - they are extensions of our very selves. And we do not need anyone else giving us crap compilations that will contaminate it. The CDs will end up on charity shop shelves faster than a dead man's suit. 

Nor do we want golf equipment. We are dads now and we will never, ever find the time to golf again. Not until we are retired and our bodies so ravaged by time and gardening that we will barely be able to lift a club. That packet of tees the kids bought us only serves to remind us of our childless friends striding down fairways in the evening sunshine. 

What we really want of course is a shed of our own. Just a small shed where we can retreat to away from the kids. That's what we really want for Father's Day - somewhere we can get away from them. A little space with a radio and some woodworking tools and maybe a bottle or two of strong beer. 

Happy Father's Day!

You can find my regular blog at or follow me on twitter @dad_man_talking 

Felt odd posting without a picture.
Here's E and D enjoying a silly moment recently!

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