4 months

It feels like days, not a month since I last wrote about you. I know I say this every month but I'm feeling a bit speechless about where time is going. A third of a year? It doesn't make sense.


What a month it's been! 

We celebrated your baptism last month and you weren't fussed by a face-full of water! You were as good as gold and loved meeting more friends and family. You even slept in your car seat while it wasn't in a moving car. Incredible! (Thanks Mummy Morkus for running my camera while I was busy...)

At 17 weeks you weighed 14lb 2 and you're very much in 3-6 month clothes. I only had two sleep suits from Effy's wardrobe ready for you though so we had to do a quick dash for some new ones! You suddenly seem incredibly long and increasingly robust, and you're starting to enjoy a bit of silliness with your sister; you don't mind if she accidentally squishes you!

At 17 weeks and 2 days you rolled from your front to your back and today at 18 weeks and 2 days you rolled from your back to your front. I missed them both. Last week you were in your cot and when I came to get you after your nap you were starring up at me. Today I came in from hanging in the washing, and there you were, cool as a cucumber on your front. Alas!

You have very little desire to stay still any more. You want to be sat up, stood on laps, in the jumperoo having a bounce or sat up in the pram so you can be nosey. You're more cautious of strangers now though, and you don't always smile at them because they smiled at you.

At meal times you are fascinated by what we're doing and you would probably shove your face in my plate given half a chance. You can't sit in the bumbo to watch any more as you can flip yourself out of it. So that got all of 2 weeks use! 

You've really found your voice and my goodness can you shout and squeal! You've also discovered your inner peace and you almost exclusively settle yourself at nap times and bedtime now.

You're so different to Effy. You're so you. I think you 'get me' a bit more than Effy did at 4 months old... She just used to look at me like I was a loon. You love a selfie and some silly coo-ey noises. Next week you start your settling in sessions at nursery and I feel confident that you'll just breeze through them. Me on the other hand? I'll have my tissues at the ready...

Two months

My sweet little girl. 

In my head you were born last week. You in fact are 10 weeks old. 70 days. 

I had forgotten so much of what the early days brought; Your 'new' cry, and your jerky movements and your ability to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable of positions. And I don't want the early days to end...

And then suddenly, you are on the move. Off the play mat, pushing off with your feet and across the sitting room. Scooting up the crib and getting stuck in a corner. Pushing up and proving to me that you do in fact have that funny little step reflex after all. You love sitting up and Effy "rowing" with you is such great fun.

It took us time, but we finally got to the bottom of your sickiness and your ghastly burps. It transpires you're super windy and super greedy, but a step back to reassess your bottles, your milk and your eating habits has made this so much easier and I can predict you almost as well as I could your sister now.

You're getting to the point where your toes want to burst out of 0-3 month clothes and I've sold those beautifully new born nappies. Your eye lashes are growing faster than the rest of you, although apparently your head is also huge. It doesn't look it. You smile for everyone who will look at you and you're getting the hang on chatting. I suspect chuckles aren't far away. You still hate the car seat, but you'll sleep for hours in the sling.

Your big sister is by far your favourite and your eyes follow her around the room. You're incredibly tolerant of her slightly over zealous but well meant gestures and you seem to have taken well to the role of little sister just fine.

Two months. You just get better and better.

One month

I'm pretty sure if I rewound that last blink I'd be back in hospital, taking in my first few moments with my brand new baby. I knew it would be like this. I knew it would go too fast, but I do feel like I've done a pretty good job of taking in as much is as possible this time. Today I put some washing on, I've not hung it up, and the nappies are assembled but still in the sitting room. Do I care? Not so much, I've been hanging out with Lowen, squishing her, smelling her, taking photographs of her. I can hang the washing up when she is in bed. 

Next week I'll take her to be weighed but I'm sure she'll be well into the 10lb bracket. The tiny clothes we had to buy her because Effy's stuff was all to big are feeling snug and the legs are too short on some sleepsuits. All of a sudden. She is still quite scrunchy, but enjoys stretching out too. 

She is starting to gurgle and has been smiling for a few days now. She loves being in the sling and doesn't enjoy the pram so much. She sleeps well at night... Last night she treated us to eight and a half hours!

So, a mum of two. Fully fledged. What have I learned?

• Well, newborns are more flexible than I remember. You can get them out of bed, chuck them in the sling and go and they'll probably go back to sleep.
• Toddlers are really more independent than I realised... Effy does so much for herself, more than I'd ever given her credit for... Lowen can't even get her own arm through her sleeve!
• You HAVE to sit back and enjoy being pregnant. My first pregnancy was godawful from start to finish and my second was hideous at times but I definitely had the 2nd trimester energy, yet I was too busy being a mum to take much in. I miss my bump. I miss having my little yellow fidget all to myself. I might not ever do the pregnant thing and already I can't remember it. It makes me a bit sad.
• Get organised. The night before when everyone else is sleeping if you need to be out early. Have EVERYTHING to hand. Remember to empty the potty as soon as it's been pee'd in.
• Finally, really do savour everything. Count the little hairs on their ears. Hold their tiny fingers. Take photographs, smell them. Log it. It's only two years since I had a 5 day old Effy, yet too much has slipped away from my memory...

Despite the chaos, the piles of laundry and the puddle of wee on the sitting room floor, it feels like there wasn't ever life without Lowen. She's just fitted right in and I wouldn't want it any other way.

One month... They'll get better and better.

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I'll take a toddler, please.

Don't get me wrong, new borns are divine, and babies are cute, and the wobbly starts to toddlerhood filled me with pride. But I am LOVING being the mother of a toddler and I'd quite happily keep my 21 month old as a 21 month old forever.

Yes, they're scrumptious when they've got too much skin with their milky smiles and tight grip. But she was kiiiiind of boring as a new born, although the house was sparkling... And while I am desperately excited about having my own new born again - and of course I'll take this all back then - I could happily fast forward the first 6 months, retrospectively.

Because I love having a proper conversation with my kid. About nothing particularly exciting, other than having a poo, or what colour the spoon is, or which friends she saw at nursery. I love that she can ask for what she wants and I don't have to guess. I love that she has preferences, and has her own mind and can get on with it with not much help. I love that I can go to the park without nappies and not worry about poonami. Or the pram. And that I can pop anywhere to get her a drink if I forget her beaker.

She is independent. She is brave. She is strong willed. But she is caring, and loving, and full of sunshine. She is great company and such good fun.

But I love the last of the baby features that still remain. That pot belly, the chubby thighs, the sleepy cuddles and the innocence and naivety that a toddler possesses for too short a time. 

I can't wait to have two. And I can't wait to strut my double buggy about. But I am also dreading the need to plan a little bit more carefully again, the need to go back to precision timing. I am enjoying the spontaneity of a toddler too much. 

It keeps getting better and better. I'll look back when my toddler is starting school and wonder what I was raving about. But if time stopped right now, I wouldn't complain.

7 weeks. The first hints of spring are on their way, I think. My belly feels fit to burst.

All change, please. I think.

Seasonally plump

Visiting a friend's newborn today, I felt a pang of broodiness and a little ache in my ovaries. And then it dawned on me: My pregnancy countdown is into single figures. I'll have one of those in less than ten weeks. 

My darling little girl looked positively grown up as she sat on the sofa eating Christmas cake, shhh-ing the adults that spoke as the baby slept peacefully in the moses basket on the other side of the room. Just yesterday D and I had to remind ourselves that she's not yet two years old. Her new fringe has taken away a bit of that messy haired toddler innocence. Having her home for the holidays, her language has come on tremendously. There are so many new words everyday and she is so wise to everything. It makes me well up a little just thinking about it. 

My unborn is currently breech. Christmas Eve eve was a horrible night as it turned itself around. The heartburn was horrific and the pain in my bump intense and tender. E was breech for a long time and now I remember how uncomfortable it was. I have hit the third trimester wall of tiredness and I am thankful that I am blessed with such a hands-on husband who has done the baths and chasing and running around with E that I'm finding more and more difficult. 

Christmas was divine: Round 1, a buffet lunch at home with friends and family before driving to my dad's in Norfolk for Round 2 where we were waited on and spoiled silly and enjoyed being suitably lazy while E lapped up time with the family we don't see so much, then onto Round 3 on Boxing Day for lunch with 'Grauntie' (my mum's sister) and more lovely gifts before returning home and then scratching our heads about where on earth everything would go and how we were going to cope next Christmas with gifts for our two children. Minor palpitations.

If I'm not fortunate enough having a husband who just loves being a dad and does an amazing job of it, he also went over the top with gifts for me, the crowning glory a new lens for my camera and a tripod...  You can expect a deluge of photographs over coming weeks, starting now, with a brief Christmas round-up.

"Wing it" Activity No. 4

iPad apps

Goodness me, what a horrible day it's been! None stop rain and a garden that is impassable as its ready for the builders to work their patio magic tomorrow.

Now I imagine that iPad apps for toddlers are a pretty controversial topics. We're quite anti television and screen time for E but she has a natural curiosity for IT, phones and the like and that's only to be expected when she sees her favourite people using them every day. I don't feel it's something I can say no to. And actually, everything in moderation, right? As long as she's done a lot of physical stuff, read real books, experienced some real life, then a little bit of something educational and developmental is ok with me.

So, having been inside all day, we've had some time on the iPad today. Here are my favourite three.

1. Peekaboo Barn

69p, and E seems to like it. We're been learning about farm animals a lot this week,so this app has consolidated some of the names and noises. She likes waiting to see who is in the barn by tapping on it. My only disappointment is that the voice is a bit coochie coo for my liking and not the clearest for learning. It's ok so long as you're nearby to reinforce it!

Available from
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/peekaboo-barn/id300590611?mt=8

2. Balls

Free! Brightly coloured moving lines, hand eye coordination and some gross motor, looks nice and sounds cool and occupies E well. Unlike other apps, the sound won't work on this app if your iPad is on silent... Took mama a while to work that out!

Available from
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/balls/id303046432?mt=8

3. Sound Box

The lite version is free and you can upgrade. This was recommended to me by a friend and is a whole family favourite. Really interactive without it being too complicated, tap for more balls of different pitches and timbres, hold them down and watch them pop into animals, shake and watch them roll around... I find myself playing too. The dog settling drives out two loopy, and my favourite it's the xylophone sound. A great app to have handy!

Available from
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sago-mini-sound-box-fun-sounds/id640709006?mt=8

Other apps we've explored include a selection of keyboards for iPad, several of the Fisherprice free apps,my favourite being the Animal Sounds one, and Maily which allows your child to draw a picture and then email it to parent predefined addresses. Perfect for cheering daddy up at work and allows older ones some independence too!

Hoping for better weather tomorrow!

"Wing it" Activity No. 2

Bean bags

When I popped into ELC yesterday, I spotted these for £4 and thought I'd see what we could do with them. They say suitable from 2+ but I think there is fun to be had with them at 14 months too... 

This is definitely more of a long term learning activity than the water beads, but even just some playing today has been fun and has developed some new skills, including:

• New vocabulary - "Can you put the bean bag in the bucket? Can you take the bean bag out of the bucket?"
• Throwing - we've had some experience of throwing - mostly dinner on the floor- but also in the garden throwing a ball for the dog but this is throwing we can do inside and requires a little more precision.
• Catching - well, she made a good attempt at catching, and really enjoyed watching us throwing the bean bags back and forward to one another. This will come! 
• Counting - one, two, three, four. 

In time there's more to do, to name but a few:

• Colours
• Hoopla type throwing into chalk circles/buckets/containers
• Juggling (!)

... all of which are good for developing hand-eye coordination, gross motor skills, language, strength and numeracy.

I'm looking forward to more beanbag action! 

Moving on up

"What a big baby! She's got a lot of hair!"
"But is she ok?"

"She's fine. But she's big! And she's got a LOT of hair."

She was fine. She didn't cry straight away, and I didn't get to see her completely brand new. Ten minutes of tugging to dislodge her from my pelvis after a hideous induction resulting in an emergency caesarian had proved quite a shocking ordeal for all of us. She had a bruised head, looked like she was about to sprout little horns and weighed in just shy of 10lb.

She was big. And she did have a lot of hair.

Brand new E

When older women ask how much she weighed, they wince at the thought of it. Most of my friends, whose little ones have been "average" give me a sympathetic nod. But many people aren't suprised. Babies ARE getting bigger. My best friend, who said she'd eat her hat if my baby arrived weighing less than her first born, a healthy 9lb 3, went on just five months after E arrived to deliver a 10lb 10er naturally, and amazingly before her epidural had a chance to work.  Hats off to her. There was no way E was coming out, head back and back to back... Sunroof it was.

A year on, E is still bigger and hairier than most of her pals of a similar age. One of her "best friends" (Oh I DO hope they will be!) weighs as much now as E weighed at 16 or 17 weeks old. She's tall. And she's rocking a wavy, messy haircut. She wears some 18-24 month clothes. She isn't "fat": She's followed her line beautifully since the horrors of "Day 5", and has actually dropped a line recently since she started walking... She just looks old. And that's kind of what it's aways been like. She's never looked her age. I hope she looks her age by the time going clubbing crosses her mind...

Yesterday we got the letter to say that nursery were starting her settling in sessions to move her up to the Ladybird Room. They're moving her up early. Her buddies, twin girls five months her senior will be staying put while she goes to join the older ones. Sometimes she goes over to the Ladybird room at the end of the day when they're short on staff, and she's never looked out of place. She looks like one of them, and is always having a great time. I know she'll have no issues settling in there, and I know it'll only improve the quality of her day at nursery. I say that like her days aren't good at the moment. They really are. I am blessed to have a child who settled effortlessly at nursery. The only tears shed when she started going at five months old were mine. But it's become clear in the last few weeks that she's getting a bit bored in the baby room. It's time to move on up. I am thrilled. I adore that she's so ready to go, and doing so well. That she loves reading, eating, playing, "helping out". I am proud that nursery see all the things in her that I see. But a little bit of me is sad. It's another of those things that just mean she's growing up, and I'd like that to slow down, please. What do I even mean by that, really?

Obviously I decide to write a blog that calls for a photo and she manages to rub her nose to death.

I don't feel like I've ever pushed E to do stuff before she's ready. I've just given stuff to her to try, and most of the time she's just taken to it. My friends who are raising their second or subsequent talk about how they're in no rush for their babies to do stuff, that they want to keep their babies as babies, almost as if they think I am in a rush. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I'm not in a rush. Some people told me bigger babies did stuff later because they were carrying extra weight. Others told me she'd do it sooner because she was that much stronger. Who knows. I can't help but love the new things she can do. When she started crawling, life got simpler. She would not longer get frustrated as she could get to where she wanted to be. Going places with a little person who walks seems to make the outing so much more about them and is so much fun. Mealtimes with mastered fork and spoon skills (OK, we're getting there with a spoon...) are cleaner some of the time. She is increasingly independent which I always wanted her to be. Yet I wonder, if without realising, I'm being too keen in my attempts to help her to do stuff? Do others see me as pushy, or think I'm pushy? I see pushy parents at parent's evening at school and I feel bad for those kids. I don't want to be one of those mothers. Do I need to take a step back?

Having a kid that is meeting some milestones earlier than expected fills me with pride, gush gush, but that combined with her toddler-aged looks isn't without its drawbacks. When we're out in the pram, people talk to E, as they would any other child, but look at her like she's stupid when they don't get the verbal response they were expecting. People stopped cooing over her a lot earlier than my other friends' babies. In children's play areas or at soft play I find myself regularly apologising to other parents as she doesn't get the concept of sharing yet and they're trying to get her to share with their kids... Why would she? She's still so young. But she looks like she should. I think, when I explain, they feel bad. But it makes me sad that I have to apologise for her. It's not her fault. 

So where is the line? Where do you become pushy, how little of a rush is too little a rush? Is letting them get on with it and not helping them out acceptable? I don't know. I don't know if I've crossed those lines, and I don't expect I'll treat Number 2 any differently. I suspect, or I'd like to think that she's done these things because she wanted to and because she was ready. Whatever I've done or she's done, she's happy and she's doing brilliantly, and that's what matters more than anything else. I need to take some perspective when it comes to other people's reactions and see the positive more... Dare I say it, be a bit more smug sometimes. A friend of mine recently had a little boy and suddenly before she or anyone else had blinked, he was a month old. She was sad about this. I told her she needed to embrace the change as they just get better and better.

Embrace the change. I need to take a leaf out of my own book.