This sudden pang of guilt, sadness, loss, I'm not sure what, was firmly cemented on Wednesday when I met my consultant. After quite a difficult appointment talking at length about E's birth and the ins and outs, he picked up the phone and booked my caesarian. So, at 17+4 weeks, I found out my unborn child's date of birth. Exciting, hugely exciting, but that means that there are only 22 weekends left and, as I've just kissed her goodnight for today, 21 Fridays - mummy days - left. Oh my word. I genuinely never thought I could feel this teary about it.
So, it's time to start a bucket list of all the stuff I want to do with her in that time. Just me and her.
This is how it looks so far:
- Rinse our Sea Life annual pass while I can still walk and before it expires shortly after baby arrives.
- Go on a Train Journey
- Go to Winter Wonderland this Christmas.
- Get a new battery for my camera remote and ensure that we get a lush photo of the two of us.
- Sign up for some Tumble Tots sessions.
- Join the Library
- Buy face paints and go mad.
- Go puddle splashing (must buy myself new wellies for this!)
- Have a proper PJ/duvet day - no boys allowed.
- Bake together.
- Master the scooter.
- Go to the beach. Preferably Southwold.
- Build a snowman (snow pending)
- Get out and enjoy as much outside time as the weather and my hips allow.
But that's as far as I've got so far. This list will grow.
Anyway, to kick start the bucket list we went and signed up at the library today and brought home nine books to enjoy. The highlight of the trip for E was taking as many books out of their boxes as possible and piling them on the floor, before "rearranging" the older children's books on a nearby shelf. She also was somewhat flummoxed by the reflective panels on the outside of the building, and enjoyed racing her reflection on the way home.
So we're both fully fledged members and E has her first stamp in her BookStart passport. She's enjoyed some of her new reads this afternoon, and I've loved discovering new stories with her.