Comparisons

As a parent, I think it's only natural to compare your kid to another. Some people are just more vocal about comparing than others. Comparison is good, but it can also be hideous ("Oh MY child can already recite the alphabet backwards AND say hello in three different languages!"), and I'm sure I'm guilty of sounding like a big boasty pants about E occasionally, unintentionally. With maybe just a smidge of gushy pride. I remember taking E to baby massage when she was about two and half months old and feeling panicked when some of the other babies could lift their head 90 degrees when lying on their tummies and she couldn't. Needless to say within a couple of days of me relaying the story to D, reading about ways to encourage productive tummy time, Googling to see when she should have been able to do it, she did it. Genuine first time mum issue.

You'll know that I made some of my closest mummy friends on my Birth Board (you know, the ones who weren't complete loons? Check here...) and I am also lucky to have a wonderfully supportive group of girls who I met at my NCT antenatal course. But I have one mummy friend, who I don't get to see all that often, but her and her little boy are a little bit extra special, as both our babies were due on the same day.

We knew each other, somewhat tenuously, quite a while before babies were on the scene and our paths crossed though various mutual friends. I still remember the evening she popped up on Facebook to congratulate me, having heard from another friend that I was expecting and the sheer excitement when she told me her news and that there was someone who was at exactly the same point along the way as me.  Not just some other time in March (ie the other end) or maybe even late February. Exactly the same point, on  exactly the same countdown, worrying about the same stuff at the same time. It was interesting to see how our pregnancies differed and to have a sympathetic ear on the bad days. It was fun trying to guess what colour these babies were going to be, and then, once we knew, which baby would have better time keeping skills. Mine caused some havoc so was served a slightly earlier eviction notice (40+4 arriving at 40+5) and hers was probably pushing fashionably late at 40+16 but they both arrived by emergency caesarian after less than ideal labours.

But in theory these two tall, hairy toddlers have existed for exactly the same amount of time. Circa early July 2011.

So having compared them in utero, it was a natural continuation (for me, at least) that we compare them now. They have a lot in common. They're tall for their age, they have a lot of hair, they're passionate, fiery aries (we witnessed a great fight over two plastic bowls today. It was all about ownership of the yellow one. No, the pink one. No. The YELLOW ONE.) They both adore books and animals. Particularly ducks. But it's so lovely seeing how different they are. The different things they like to do. What tickles them. The things that we find infuriating sometimes. And it's even better watching them start to interact with each other.

People will always tell you "every baby is different". I know this. Sometimes they say it like it's a bad thing that we compare. Mine has been reasonably text book, but that's still so very different from the next textbook baby. I don't care how different they are, I do love comparing. I love how these two little ones, who started their journey on (probably) the same day and grew the same way on their race to meet the world are turning into little people, like us grown ups only a lot smaller with less ability to verbalise that they're cross about the fact that he is drinking from a more superior, identical water cup, and I really hope that they get to grow up together. I love that he is braver than her. I love that she doesn't care for the lid of the yogurt like he does. I love that they both think that the gravel is super tasty. 

They'd make us some lush grandchildren one day. 

... Just saying.

Silent Sunday

Where next?

I am an incredibly lucky woman.

I am 26 with a good job, a mortgage, a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter. It doesn't get any better. 

The last few years have been exciting. When I finish my degree.... When I finish training... When we get married... When we've bought a house...  When we have a baby... I've ticked those boxes now. There will be more babies. The next house is not an option right now. D has a new job. I'm fine where I am for now.

I guess I feel a bit lost. I feel like I'm just back to counting down to the next school holiday. I am lacking a focus. A milestone, perhaps. I guess because all our plans aren't definite or out of our control. At some point we'll do the kitchen. We'll get to work on number two later this year. Maybe we'll get away next year... It's all a bit up in the air and open to change and I find it quite unsettling.

I've always been a planner and a waiter. I could have put my life on hold waiting for E, looking at baby stuff, getting ready and drinking tea. Now she's here I love every moment, I am far more spontaneous than ever before and planning goes out of the window as someone always has other ideas.

Does needing milestones mean you're wishing life away? How will I feel when my family is complete and we are counting down to the next school holiday? Does this feeling go away?

Probably not, I suspect, but I think having children changes things somewhat. Wedding planning for that one big day, the first day of that chapter. Watching that bump grow and imagining what the little in person will look like, the day that they arrive is a start of another chapter. But these days, every day is like a mini chapter, or at least a new paragraph. We might be waiting for teeth, or another word, but every day is exciting and new and rewarding. 

I know that the milestones that are to come will be rewarding and exciting too. A kitchen that I can cook AND entertain in. The next career step. A sibling and best friend for my wonderful daughter. A week in the sunshine. But actually more importantly, it's all about living for now. I won't get these days back waiting for the next thing to happen.

It's time to start enjoying them even more.

Silent Sunday

Reflections

What a wonderful week it has been! The wet middle of half term week didn't stop us having fun and I can return to work on Monday feeling like I had a really good week off.

If you've been reading my "Wing it" posts, you'll know that I've explored some new stuff for E to do (and if you haven't you can read about Activity 1, 2, 3 and 4). Activity 5 needs some more photographs before I can write about it. But on top of that we've done a whole load of other stuff that's made for a memorable week. Firstly, we've spent the whole week at home, no nights away, no packing, no stress. We've caught up with friends, we've gotten our first grazed knees, we've seen my dad, we've (started to) spruce up the garden, we've barbecued, we've played outside loads, we've played with new toys, we've read books, we've been to the farm... And most importantly, the three of us have spent a huge amount of time with each other. Simply divine.

I know I've said it before but E continues to get better and better. She is such good company, so much fun. At the end of every school holiday I reflect on what a good time off I've had and each one trumps the previous one. Goodness me - the summer holiday promises to be the bees knees! 

So, changed afoot this week. E starts full time in her new room on Monday. D is starting his last half term at school before he changes jobs in September. I have some gain time in the absence of Year 11. Some breathing space.

Thought for the week: It gets better and better.

Wordless Wednesday One-off

"Wing it" Activity No. 4

iPad apps

Goodness me, what a horrible day it's been! None stop rain and a garden that is impassable as its ready for the builders to work their patio magic tomorrow.

Now I imagine that iPad apps for toddlers are a pretty controversial topics. We're quite anti television and screen time for E but she has a natural curiosity for IT, phones and the like and that's only to be expected when she sees her favourite people using them every day. I don't feel it's something I can say no to. And actually, everything in moderation, right? As long as she's done a lot of physical stuff, read real books, experienced some real life, then a little bit of something educational and developmental is ok with me.

So, having been inside all day, we've had some time on the iPad today. Here are my favourite three.

1. Peekaboo Barn

69p, and E seems to like it. We're been learning about farm animals a lot this week,so this app has consolidated some of the names and noises. She likes waiting to see who is in the barn by tapping on it. My only disappointment is that the voice is a bit coochie coo for my liking and not the clearest for learning. It's ok so long as you're nearby to reinforce it!

Available from
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/peekaboo-barn/id300590611?mt=8

2. Balls

Free! Brightly coloured moving lines, hand eye coordination and some gross motor, looks nice and sounds cool and occupies E well. Unlike other apps, the sound won't work on this app if your iPad is on silent... Took mama a while to work that out!

Available from
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/balls/id303046432?mt=8

3. Sound Box

The lite version is free and you can upgrade. This was recommended to me by a friend and is a whole family favourite. Really interactive without it being too complicated, tap for more balls of different pitches and timbres, hold them down and watch them pop into animals, shake and watch them roll around... I find myself playing too. The dog settling drives out two loopy, and my favourite it's the xylophone sound. A great app to have handy!

Available from
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sago-mini-sound-box-fun-sounds/id640709006?mt=8

Other apps we've explored include a selection of keyboards for iPad, several of the Fisherprice free apps,my favourite being the Animal Sounds one, and Maily which allows your child to draw a picture and then email it to parent predefined addresses. Perfect for cheering daddy up at work and allows older ones some independence too!

Hoping for better weather tomorrow!