Pick Your Battles

All things considered, I think E is pretty ace and pretty well behaved. But it's undeniable that as she gets older she is starting to assert herself a bit more, explore, and test boundaries. She usually only tantrums when she's hungry or tired, but there are a few things that she does that I don't seem to be able to 'nip in the bud' and I find myself saying "no" far more than I'd like to be saying it. I also remind myself that I need to pick my battles, but how do I know what battles to pick? I ignore that she won't let me brush her teeth and accept that sucking the toothpaste off and maybe brushing one tooth is ok for now. She's learning what that brush is for and I don't want tooth brushing to become a negative thing she associates with a battle.

Fine.

But what about throwing food on the floor as an indication of being finished? Do I ignore it, I'm sure she'll grow out of it. Or do I tell her no? Or do I just catch her when its about to happen and remove everything from site, avoiding the situation all together?

She has stopped batting the TV and shaking the electric fire with repetitive counting to three and warnings. Do I take the same approach and deal with the mess along the way?

My mood and energy levels play a huge part in the decision I make in such a circumstance. I'm probably not consistent enough. Really it's not going to take her that long to realise that we adult folk do no not throw food at meal times. But she might assume that there's always a hungry dog to clean up after her...

I know her understanding is excellent, it's just selective at the moment, I feel. If she gets "can you go and find the book just like this one (noisy book with button) but about elephants instead of monkeys?" then surely "please stop dropping food on the floor" must make sense too? Or am I missing something?

Regrettably, I am constantly fretting about being judged. Although I am 26 years old I still feel quite in the depths of 'young mum' and when my toddler is smearing herself in something and throwing her breadstick on the floor of a pub and waving at each piece as she does it, I can't help but feel eyes on me and that everyone is thinking "look at that YOUNG MUM not disciplining her child!" What they don't see is how great she is at bedtime, nap time, how she eats virtually ANYTHING she's preserved, how she helps tidy up before bed. They probably are not thinking this. They probably think its endearing and are remarking on her big blue eyes (like daddy? No?! Oh...) but actually I'm not 100% cool with the stuff on the floor, however well mannered its departure may have been.

I realise that this is another post where I don't feel I can draw myself to any conclusion or have come up with any answers. I guess if its dangerours, if something could be broken or someone hurt, then thats a battle worth picking. Food on the floor may only benefit the dogs, but its not hurting anyone... So, much like the toddler and the knife scenario, I'll put it to you, dear reader, to suggest which battles I pick and which I leave alone.

Or maybe I just ignore her completely and hope that at some point she becomes self-aware enough to realise that wearing a yogurt pot and some of its contents on your head is simply not a good look. Ever.

Fluffy bottoms

I made the decision to make my daughter a part-time cloth bum this week. There are many reasons why. I say part-time because she's at nursery four days a week and nappies are included. And I'm going to get into the swing of it before embarking on night time too... But I have just ordered some reusable wipes! 

We plan on having another baby at some point in the not too distant future. I'm hoping that putting E in cloth will aid the potty training experience, and I'm hoping E will be on her way to dry at night by then, but also hoping that it'll save me a fortune in disposables and make me think more carefully about how I use the washing machine.

We have done our first weekend. I need a wet bag for out and about, but its been absolutely fine, and the nappies have washed brilliantly. I took advantage of this weekend's great weather to line dry and E looked super cute tottering about in the garden modelling her new fluff!

On recommendation from a friend, I bought 10 Little Lamb pocket nappies from Fill Your Pants (based up the road in Oadby, Leicestershire - remember I love to support local business!) for £68. Northants CC will let me claim £25 back too! I selected some different colours and they arrived the next day, which I thought was truly excellent service, and actually I recall it being the same when I ordered E's swim nappy from them. The nappies have two bamboo liners each and I can feel them getting fluffier with each wash. I understand it can take up to 10 washes for maximum absorbency. There are so many poppers on the front of the nappy it's impossible for them not to fit your baby. Aaaaaaand most importantly, it's really not the big deal I thought it would be. It's not stressful, it's not smelly and it might just give the bank balance a little break. Happy times! 

My fluffy friends always talked about how addictive this was... I'm already planning my next purchase!

I take it all back and eat my cloth-nappy... Nappy.

Silent Sunday

Behind the name

This is not the post I had planned for today. I shall save that. I woke up this morning feeling so disgusted about the clip I had watched on YouTube shortly before bed last night that I felt I needed to talk it through this morning.I'm sure my UK readers who are Social Networkers will have seen the clip in question: Ex-Apprentice contestant Katie Hopkins discussing kids names on This Morning. Katie Hopkins, who I recall not liking all that much when she was on The Apprentice, leaving presenters Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield furious, exasperated and speechless, because, in her opinion, names such as Tyler and Chardonnay are enough to be an "efficient way of working out what class a child comes from, and do I want my child to play with them." Giving your children names such as these, it would seem, ensure that they have no prospects and wont do their homework.

Unreal.

There is no doubt that as a teacher sometimes we chortle at some of the interesting names that pass through our doors. And, when choosing our daughter's name, as we both teach, we decided that she would have to be given a name that we had never taught as we found ourselves regularly saying this like "oh I used to teach a really naughty so and so" or "Don't you remember all the issues I had with blah blah?" My love for the name Joshua, for example was blighted in my first year of teaching by a lad I grew to have a soft spot for, but never the less used to fall asleep under desks, tell me that coursework was pointless and made me the subject of much humiliation over the year I taught him. Another to scrub off the list. But that's not to say that every Joshua is a bad lad. I teach a beautiful Joshua at the moment. But that one experience has meant that no son of mine will be called Joshua. So we've ended ended up a name that people have described as "unusual, without being too "out there"." Suits me just fine, although I suspect it's a name that's about to get popular. I had it first. There seems to be a trend of ususual naming these days. Each to their own, when it comes to their choice. I find usual names and think we could never pull it off. I have a friend who suggests usual names for her unborn baby and they screech cool. But sometimes, when I hear these names I do wonder if the kids will thank their parents later on...

However, unusual names aside, I think Katie Hopkins has got it wrong. And in her attempts to justify her "intelligent" names, she made herself look like a fool. She doesn't like geographical names like "Brooklyn" and "London" but her daughter is called India. Magic.

I am quite sure that out there there are children with 'names like these' who do come from poor, working class backgrounds, who don't do their homework, who might not get far in life. But there will be just as many who make a real success for themselves. As teachers, we can't write children off like that, and I'd be horrified if my daughter chose her friends by their name, or for that matter, children in her class (or their parents!) wrote her off because her names was 'too pretentious', 'that name is very common these days' etc. There will also but hundreds of Ophelias, Ilyanas, Tarquins, whatever "intelligent" names you fancy who don't succeed. The number of middle class kids I have taught who don't do their homework, think that life just gets handed to them on a plate... Enough said. I will judge the friends my children make by meeting them and making a fair assessment of them that way. Hopkins has openly admitted to being Mrs Judgey Pants on this one, and I suspect she wont be a popular mummy in the playground... Opinions like that are probably best kept to oneself. No one likes a snob.

I look forward to her intelligent, floral, geographically named children being really successes of the future. In the meanwhile I suspect that her children's classmates' parents will be thinking twice about whether they want their children to play with "those kinds of children". 

Silent Sunday

Super Sunday Sync #42

Thrilled to be guest hosting the Super Sunday Sync this week, and a little bit nervous too! Welcome new visitors, it's a pleasure to have you passing by! 

Happy Sunday!

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